Mawwige

I always thought marriage was inevitable. Whether I was interested or not, I would probably get married. So I might as well take stock of my options, right?

Every eligible bachelor I met after that, I analyzed. I went down a mental checklist.

I took into account his posture - Did he stand straight and tall like he knew who he was and what he was about? Did he slump like he didn't really care about his appearance and was living his life just to "get by"?

Did he carry himself like the man I would respect and honor for the rest of my/his life and be the man I want my sons to be? Did he make himself "available" to young ladies through flattery or flirtation?

I looked at his countenance - Did his face show an active joy? Did it show peace? Or did his face say, "It's all about me, yeah."?

And clothing, too. Did his pants hang down around his knees? Were they full of holes? Did his shirt have writing on it that would shame me? Were they expensive, snobby clothes? Were his shoes those shrimpy little whatchamacallits that are so fashionable these days?

Was he the type who would command and demand my respect and control my every move, or would he earn my respect through caring, love, and devotion, like Paul described to Timothy?

What about language? Were his words "drawing room fashion," as I like to put it?

Did his hands look like they were used to hard work, or were they soft and delicate?

Could I live, work, and sleep next to him every day for the rest of my life? You might think it forward of me to ask that the moment I met a man, but that's what marriage is.

That's a very small sample of my checklist. I set the bar high and would accept nothing less. Truthfully, I thought I'd set it so high that I would never find someone.


***


And... Then one day in late September 2008, while at college... Second day of choir... A young man walked in the room. He'd just switched classes and needed an extra credit to be a full-time student. I went down my checklist from across the room:

He stood straight and tall. His attention remained on the instructor. His face showed the joy and peace of the Lord. He wore work jeans, a long-sleeve, button-up flannel shirt, and work boots. His hands were massive and you could tell they hadn't rested for a day in his life. On and on the list went, and I put a check by each one.

On my way home from school, I said to myself, "Self! I could marry a guy like that." Then another voice answered, "Why don't you marry him?" So I thought about that. All weekend I thought about it. By the next time I saw him, I pretty well knew for sure. Now to actually meet him.

You can't just walk up to a man and say, "Hi, my name is ___, and I'm planning to marry you." Finally, I worked up the nerve to walk up and say hi while we were in the cafeteria (this being the girl who was so shy she had trouble saying "Hi" to acquaintances!). He knew my brother, David, and was around David rather often, so that helped me get to know him in the future.

Two months later, we were fairly certain we'd get married, but my parents had still never met him. I hadn't even discussed him with them. A few months after they did meet, the Cowboy asked Dad if he could "court" me. September 2009, the Cowboy asked for my hand. And now I'm wearing the ring the Cowboy designed (it couldn't be a big ring that would overwhelm my tiny hand or have pokey edges to get caught in my knitting or scratch a baby).

According to every conservative Christian book on courting, we did everything wrong. The woman took initiative to speak to the man. The man did not go to her father first. Neither met each other's parents. They never had chaperons as their parents trusted their judgment implicitly.

So that is how I came to be engaged to my best friend, high school sweetheart that I met in college, and my first love after Christ.

God works in odd ways sometimes. You have to be able to distinguish His voice from what you believe from the books you've read. Trust Him fully. You trusted Him to save you from eternal death! Trust Him to find your spouse!

Pictures from around the farm

Some of the animals you'll see around my family's farm.

My Joshua, the purebred barn cat who thinks he is Teh Mighty Warrior. Here he plots to attack a fallen leaf.

Jasmine (brown) and Joanna (black and white). My brothers don't believe they're girls because they have beards. :-P

One of the new calves (Angus/Hereford). Ain't he cute? Awwwww... :-)

This is Who I Am

I was sitting here with my bowl of grits, deciding what to blog about. I've met two new friends in the past day (Anna and Cora Beth), and I realized that they didn't follow The Punmaster's Palace when I blogged over there.

So a little more about me. I say I'm the 6th of 7 boys. A little humor there. I have three brothers, but throughout my life, young men have lived with us and become like brothers to me. Having almost solely male companionship my entire life has given me an odd outlook on life. How many other girls do you know who think a heartfelt, romantic gift is a new shotgun?

I'm engaged to a man I've known for a little over a year, and that is a story that people either find fascinating or creepy when they hear it. It's a little long, so I'll not write about it here. I call him the Cowboy.

I do work outside the home, by request of my parents. I look forward to one day being a stay-at-home mother. I was homeschooled from day 1 until 10th grade (then started college). I want to continue that winning streak when I have munchkins. :-P Fortunately, the Cowboy also has those dreams (though he was public schooled from day 1 and had a full-time employed mother).

By request of my father, I do not wear skirts, save on special occasions. Because of my code of modesty, I actually wear men's clothing. If you'd like me to elaborate, I can. :)

I'm a college graduate now, and live with my peeps (immediate family and grandparents) on a farm. Grandpa raises cows, I keep two milk goats and two barncats, and the rest of my family have a worthless mutt (not a dog person, here) and a cat who is known as the Blimp. If you saw him, you'd understand. We have a huge garden and feed nearly everyone in my valley.

I love Star Wars, hate Jane Austen, love brussels sprouts, and hate bananas.

And that is me. Well... a little. I didn't even mention costumry, tatting, knife collecting, sewing, writing, knitting, gaming (yes, I'm a gamer! I got to level 10 in Tetris! Wow, that was epic... Maybe I'm not a gamer), weaving, sniper movies, dyeing cloth, and... um... yeah. There's a lot in my head.

Book Review: Isle of Swords

I knew nothing about this book when I begged and pleaded for it for Christmas last year. The reason? The Door Within trilogy by the same author, Wayne Thomas Batson. I bought those without really knowing what they were about, either. This was because I went to a bookstore where L.B. Graham was having a book signing. As all of my friends were HUGE fans of L.B. Graham, they elected me to cart all their books up to Enumclaw to have them signed.

Wayne Thomas Batson happened to be there, along with Bryan Davis, Christopher Hopper, and a few other authors. During the course of the event, Mr. Batson gave a dramatic reading. It was so impressive that I knew I had to get his books. And he can sword fight. +10 cool points right there. So I got The Door Within trilogy there, and they were awesome. So I had to get the two Isle books.

Now. On with the review of the first Isle book.

Title: Isle of Swords
Author: I think you know already
Favorite character: Cat or Red Eye
Favorite sentence: Hard to choose. I liked a lot of them. :)

The story is an epic treasure hunt on the high seas. Plenty of pirates are after this fabled treasure and the ebil rat (the bad guy) will stop at nothing to get it. Some clues to the treasure are left with a near mortally wounded 16-year-old kid who remembers nothing of his past.

What I liked about the book: It had just about all the things I like in a story: guns, swords, tons of explosions (oh, YES!), kidnappings, noble and courageous feats, and likeable characters. Although this Norwegian girl was sad that the Viking in the story was the ebil rat. And while the ebil rat is QUITE unlikeable, I pitied him and wonder if he could ever be turned to good. Maybe?

I had one fear throughout the book. I knew that Cat (the character with amnesia) would at some point discover his true identity. I was afraid that when he learned his name, he'd switch over to it and not be Cat again. Thankfully, he didn't! What a relief! His real name is cool, but Cat is cooler. :-)

David will laugh if he reads it, because he knows my dislike for multiple exclamation points, but the story was good enough for me to be able to ignore them. ;-)

It was a great book from a Christian point of view. I think y'all should go read it. I'm tagging the people that I think will be particularly interested.

The Passion of the Christian

Find your purpose. Find your passion.

I hear those phrases said a LOT by unhappy, teen/twentyish Christians this last year or two.

Here's an example: I was listening to a young man who was telling me about a conversation he'd had years before with an elderly missionary. The missionary told him: "Now, you can get a good job, a great wife, and be very content and happy until you reach about 40, then you'll feel like there's something missing. Or you can do what I did and be a missionary." The young man told me, "I can see the first part coming true with me - I have that stuff... I'm afraid of eventually feeling like there's something missing."

Well, I thought on what to advise him. First I had to clear up something that struck me wrong. I asked him, "So... Being a missionary solves all your problems and makes you content?" Not that I'm against missionaries; believe me, I hold them in high respect. But if you're going to be a missionary for the wrong reason, it is WRONG. Be a missionary to spread the Word, not to be your fix-all pill.

Then the young man said the phrase that grates on me like you have no idea: "That was back when I was trying to find my passion."

No. Hold the phone.

You don't find passion. Passion finds you.

There is such an emphasis on finding your passion/purpose/whatever among Christian youngsters in my current sphere of friendship. I blame this idea on people who want to write and sell Christian self-help books, and I don't understand it. Never before in my life had I heard it before going to college, and it struck me as very backward. Same as it grates on my when people ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Don't be stuck on the future, people! Be stuck on NOW. NOW is when you're alive!

Let's go back to my beloved book of James. James 4:13-17:

13 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."
14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
15 Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
16 As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.
17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

That blunt enough for you? So what is "the good he ought to do?" How about Ecclesiastes 9:10: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom."

Whatever your hand finds to do. Anything your hand finds to do. Everything your hand finds to do.

Live this moment for Christ. Think this thought for Christ. Pray this prayer for Christ. Share the Word for Christ. Be the temple for Christ. If you do, your passion, contentment, and peace will find you.

A Journey Through Job

I've always been encouraged by Job, and yesterday afternoon Joey and I were reading the first few chapters. If you're not familiar with Job, here's his story in a nutshell:

He was a rich man with a bunch of wonderful kids and all of them loved God with all their hearts. Satan went before God and asked if he could try and break Job's faith. God said Satan could do anything short of killing him. So Satan sent men to kill Job's animals and servants. He caused all of Job's children to die. All Job was left with was his life and his wife, who told him to curse God and die. He was covered with boils and sat in ashes, scraping the boils with a shard of pottery. (Job 1+2, heavily generalized)

We think WE have it bad sometimes.

And through all of it, Job PRAISED GOD. I can't underline that enough times. There's so much in this book that you'll have to read for yourself. Go ahead. Set aside time to read the Word.


One of my favorite Bible passages comes from Job 12: 7-10. I remember the first time I saw a calf born, and afterward, Grandpa and I stood in the barn and watched the cow and her little baby as the calf struggled to stand up and then wobbled around the pen. Grandpa told me he'd seen calves born so many times, and every time, he felt again the wonder and amazement at God's world. Myself? I'm overwhelmed by it.

7. "But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee:
8. Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee; and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee:
9. Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the LORD hath wrought [made] this?
10. In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind."

An Aspect on the Love Chapter in Relation to Spiritual Gifts

1st Corinthians 13.

Whenever I hear this recited or see it printed on a card, it goes from verse 4 to 8a, ending with "Love never fails." If you've never read it, go read it now and then come back.

It's a wonderful description of what love is. But there are a few other pieces of this puzzle. Yes, this is in my beloved King James, so y'all can find your favorite translation if you like. :-) Verses 1-3:

1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity [love], I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.
2. And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not charity [love], I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned and have not charity [love], it profiteth me nothing.

What brought this up? Chapter 12. It's all about spiritual gifts. He'd just gotten done telling these people about the different gifts, but then in chapter 13, he says, "WAIT! There's another part here, folks!" He says if your spiritual gift is tongues, but you don't love, you'll just be babbling and making raucous noise. Or if you have the gift of prophecy, and you don't love, you're nothing. Even if you're martyred and have no love, it don't give ya nothin'.

Maybe that's not a surprise to you, but I memorized this entire chapter when I was 13 and said those first verses over and over... and never caught on that he was talking about those oh, so special spiritual gifts! I didn't understand that it was my responsibility to love at ALL TIMES and that through my love, I will speak in tongues or I will prophesy or give mercy or have faith. I don't know my spiritual gift.

Or maybe I don't have to know what it is. Maybe through love and devotion to my Lord, it will simply spill out of me.

^^^Think about that. Do you need to know your gift to follow Christ? I know some people who will say yes. Me? I say no.

Why is love more important than gifts? The rest of verse 8 that we skipped, verse 9, and verse 10.

8b. ...but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail. Whether there be tongues, they shall cease. Whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
10. For we know in part, and we prophecy in part.
11. But when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away.

Your gift is your vehicle to share your love. First you have love. Then your gift pops up and says, "Hey! Look at God's love!" To use this megaphone, you must first have your message. Learn your message. Practice your message. Be devoted to your message. Love your message.