Unniversary, Year 2

Well, happy Unniversary, Cowboy! It's been a year since we were supposed to be married.

What has happened in that time, now that I think about it:

1. The Cowboy went to Alaska, and, after a fantastic number of trials and tribulations, he's doing... ...okay. Environmental conditions are favorable, but the housing conditions are not so much. We will see what happens. We take it day by day and deal with each thing that comes up. The weather, however, is much nicer than it is down here, by normal standards. Not by my standards, because I think it's obvious to you that I prefer a wet, raining climate. But Southern Alaska is warm and sunny this time of year. And, I am told, beautiful. Thousands of my dear fir trees. Hills and valleys. More trees.
2. I was given a (small-scale) publishing proposal and that novel is almost finished. To my utter surprise, the man who is heading up this endeavor wrote to me last night with a proposal on the NEXT book. This time a fantasy for children with lots of pictures. The best part? It requires me to create some elf costumes and procure elf ears. This is because I will be the elf in all the pictures. It all began with me earning the nickname of "The Elven Princess of the Woodlands" last week and the publisher/director had some free time to cook up a "Cora Special" story.

So as the year is reaching the halfway point, the Cowboy and I still have places to go and things to do.

Unfortunately, the places do not yet include a wedding yet.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

"Jennifer Juniper, lilacs in her hair..."

Tangled.

"Are you taking pictures of that squirrel?"

"A whole bushel of apples..."

"Where rust doth destroy"

The dandy-lion. One of the many wonders of nature that amazes me no end.

The Four Seasons by Cora

The Four Seasons.

Each year I watch my favorite tree. It's a yellow plum tree that grows by our driveway. The flowers are the most beautiful you've ever seen and smell like a warm spring day. This year it gave me a picture of a woman's life.

Spring is where life begins. A tiny bud forms on the tree - the woman as a baby. She grows until she bursts into the beautiful, delicate flower of a young woman. All through this growth, the flower experiences trials like frosts, storms, and strong winds. Each trial brings strength to will and limb, preparing her to bear the weight of Summer.

Ah, Summer for the tree. The Summer of life. This is where the flower's petals - a woman's youth - transforms into fruit, be it children or otherwise. She covers these seeds with her love and her own flesh. She shades them under her leaves. She feeds them, and they grow. The pain she experiences in this time of life is when an insect or bird comes and attacks her shield on what she holds dear. But she does not give up! Each hole pecked in her precious fruit she covers over with a sweet syrup that hardens into a stronger shield. In such a way, the woman must cover wounds with sweet forgiveness and become yet stronger. She gives of herself for the sake of her precious seed. Then at the proper time comes the Autumn of the woman's life.

Leaves begin to turn as Autumn arrives for my plum tree, and with it the loss of the fruit on the tree. Children grow up and leave to start new lives and families. The woman hopes she has protected them so that they would survive. They are surrounded by their mother's love and care, giving them the power to grow on their own. She hopes they will grow straight and tall like she is. She fears her own future and what might happen if she had failed her seed in some way. She watches over them and hopes and prays. Some of her fruit fell to the ground before its time. She mourns their loss. But even as these trials face her, she does not give up. She dresses herself with brightness of the turning leaves and all who see her marvel at her beauty, less innocent than the flowers of Spring or the fullness of Summer. She is more fragile now, but strength remains. Now is the time to take on new responsibilities to fulfill before the Winter comes.

Winter steals upon the tree, cold and bitter. The snow falls, and with it the leaves. The woman's hair turns to the white of the falling snow. She knows she has little time remaining in this world, but she bears that knowledge with honor. This is the season of wisdom, and she has much experiences gained by the frosts of youth - a child's lost teddy bear; a best friend lost; a young, broken heart. She has brought her seed through the trials of summer as outsiders and at times her family attack her goal. She knows the loss felt when the children leave and even chores like laundry seem a heart-wrenching reminder as the sweet children's clothing is packed away for grandchildren. She has seen these things. She has wept these tears. But she knows this is not a season given to her for sadness! No, for the winter is when the woman shields the snow from the seeds sleeping about her feet and teaches them her wisdom. She shares all that she knows about the seasons of life and prepares them just as her mother and grandmother did before.

***

Spring comes, and a tiny bud forms on the branch of my yellow plum tree...

Dozy dotes and liddle lamzy divey...

...A kiddley divey too, wooden shoe?

At every sunny chance I get, I take my goats out of the barn and let them "nom" freely on all the grass surrounding the barn. Saves Dad from having to mow. :) But since they're free to go wherever, I stay with them and watch over them. Much like David the shepherd in Scripture. I find myself thinking of him often while I'm sitting there in the grass watching my goats. Spending days at a time with the flocks of sheep must have been long and lonely, and a lonely heart with the right perspective turns to YHVH/God rather than depression.

I also find myself watching the goats and wondering if we'd be healthier if we didn't cook everything we eat. I mean, here are creatures that are probably FAR more healthy than your average human, and they don't cook the stuffin' out of everything. So I just have to wonder if maybe it would behoove us (a little pun there) to re-think what and how we eat. "But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee" What should we be learning from the beasts in our care?

Dreamin' 'Bout Babies

All last week I was dreaming about babies. And then, finally, on this fine Sunday afternoon...

There appeared Gimli, the small goatlet who hogs all the food.

And Aragorn. Epic and kingly.

They are so cute and doing so well. :)

Oh, Yeah, And I Tat

In case anyone was interested in seeing a gen-u-ine tatted item, here is a bookmark for your viewing pleasure!

It has been tatted (erm, tatting is making lace out of a series of knots, formed with either a needle or a shuttle) out of sewing thread. That means this cross is about 3 1/2" from the top (just above the picture) to the end of the tassel (off the bottom of the picture). I would measure it, but I gave it to a friend of mine.

So now you know what tatting is, if you didn't before! It doesn't mean I make marks on skin with ink... although I can do that, too. On rabbit ears, though, not people skin.

I kept it near my favorite Scripture passage for several years. Anyone want to guess what Scripture it is?

On Headcoverings And Such

The following items are highly debated around Christian circles:

Skirts for women
Headcoverings for women
Torah Observancy
Baptism
And bazillions of other things

I'll spell out my take on it here. *ahem*

Nothing but the blood of Messiah/Christ will get you into Heaven, so if you understand why He was crucified for you and accept His salvation, you WILL hang out with me in Heaven one day. The other things are unnecessary for salvation from the fires of hell, but the lifestyle parts are good ideas to incorporate into your life. Why? Because He (YHVH/God) likes it. He wouldn't have said to do something if He didn't like it. But they will not save you.

Baptism exists as a public symbol of acceptance of salvation. Just like a wedding is a public symbol of marriage. A marriage happens when a man and woman commit to each other for the rest of their mortal lives. Weddings are irrelevant to marriage. Salvation is between a man/woman/child and YHVH/God. Baptism is irrelevant to salvation. They are nice symbols, though.

The person whose life could only be described as an abomination that accepts the Lord as they breathe their last breath alone in that hospital room is just as saved as someone who accepted Him at the age of 10, was baptized, and lived a righteous life.

So there ya go. Good ideas, but they are not a path to salvation. More like a path after salvation.

Emily's Post

I thought that title line was particularly brilliant. Today must have been a long day if I thought THAT was brilliant!

Anyway, over on Emily's blog, she is hosting a give-away of mother-daughter aprons and gave a challenge to post things you're thankful for on our blogs. As I am a dedicated apronophile, I entered the drawing. But also I love to be thankful for things. Let's see how many things I'm thankful for that I can come up with in the next five minutes. Comments in parentheses were added later. :)

My Lord (Do I need to say a reason?)
My parents (for being patient and loving and... more patient... See various thankful things below...)
My brothers (yes, all of them!)
My grandparents who live next door (they have been instrumental in teaching me)
My home (a comfortable place to live, far beyond what most people in the world have)
Rain!
My kitties
Wonderful friends
"Adopted" family (this may come under "friends" but they are the people who are not blood-related but have let me into their lives and call me their sister or daughter)
Inside jokes
The ability to do arts and crafts
Good schooling (thanks to Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma, and my wonderful college professors)
Educational and work opportunities
A job I love, coworkers who are good friends, an a boss I am proud to say I work for
Creativity
Good books to read
Tea :)
Food
A pretty valley to live in
The uniqueness of snow
How even after disasters, there is still life and beauty
The resilience of mankind
Batteries (Hey, I can be thankful for batteries!)
My dad's ability to fix everything
And that he didn't get upset when I (possibly? probably? most likely? almost definitely?) destroyed the faucet on the side of his shop on Friday when I tried to back his truck out of the used car lot that is our driveway. Maybe that's why we ran out of water Friday night...

Yep. That took slightly longer than five minutes, because I had to finish the bit with the faucet. Oops. Sorry, Dad! I... um... got him some M&Ms. And that made everything ok. Listen up, kids. M&Ms are like little dabs of magic. If there was such a thing as magic. They make everything better.

Ummmmmm...

In the public speaking group Toastmasters, you are taught how to give speeches and critiqued on a number of things. One of the things you get "dinged" for is making a pointless syllable. Um. Uh. Er. Well. Hm. Oh. Etc. But why do we say them, anyway? Why are they habitual for nearly every person you run into? Do they have a purpose?

My answer: Yes. It has a purpose. (Everyone in Toastmasters cringes and protests) Hang on! I'll explain.

"Um" is often used to fill the silence that follows a question. Ex: "What would you like to do today?" "Uh... Go to town, I guess." In modern English conversations, silence during the conversation is dreaded, and either person will do anything to keep a silence from occurring. "Um" is a place-holder sound. It informs the person asking you the question that you are thinking of the answer and they should be quiet until you finish thinking. If you were to remain silent, the asker would assume they asked the question in such a way as it was difficult to understand. So the moment you begin to answer, they rephrase the question. Then there comes the awkward "You go first." "No, you." "I insist - what were you going to say before I interrupted?" "I forgot now."

Alternately, it can initiate a conversation by capturing someone's attention while you are thinking of what to say, "Ummmm, hey, I was going to talk to you about the concert tomorrow." And the "Um" is held out to the duration of the time to figure out what you're going to say. Convenient!

Perhaps it might have become a matter of etiquette in our society to include these little "nothing" sounds, maybe even as important as non-verbal cues. In the age of the telephone, they may be entirely replacing non-verbal cues. Rather than letting the phone line go silent and make the other person sit there and listen to nothing, you'll utter a long "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell..." so that at the very least they won't think you hung up or fell asleep!

I believe that is also why run-on sentences happen. How many "and"s can you fit in that sentence? My explanation: When someone comes to a punctuation mark, like a comma or period, in their spoken paragraphs, they panic. If they allow a full pause to indicate a period, someone might grab that moment and start talking, so, in preservation of their "speaking turn," they add on to a single sentence as much as possible to put out all the information they possibly can before the other person can jump on the break in their sentence and mess up your train of thought, because you have so much more to say and besides, if they take the "floor" with the conversation, you may never have a chance to finish what you were saying and then it would be a horrible tragedy so you go on and on without pausing or taking a breath until you finally gasp for a breath at the end of your monologue and let the other person speak.

Whatcha think?

Being the one who is guilty of LONG awkward silences and snipping ALL sentences short, this is what I've noticed around other people. Feel free to correct...

Ramblin' Man... Er, Woman...

I had a random thought the other day about a tiny subject that made me sad. With the trend of children using first names for adults (including their parents!), there is a distinct possibility that I will never be called "Mrs. Cowboy" by my children's little friends. I will merely be Cora.

All of my life, I've longed to be Mrs. MarriedSurname, but in our society of holding a greater value on childhood and youth than age and wisdom, people don't want to be thought of as "older" than the youth surrounding them. They take offense to being addressed as Mr. or Mrs. Surname. Even Sir or Ma'am, which were drilled into me as the most basic of decency are now abhorred.

Perhaps you think I'm strange. It wouldn't be the first time. I look forward to the gray hair and wrinkles in my future. To grandchildren. To growing old with my beloved Cowboy.

What do you think? Do you look forward to growing older? Would you be offended by being called Mrs. Surname or Mr. Surname?

...

My next ramble:

"'Um.' Society's Necessary Superfluous Sound"

Porthos the Pirate

Introducing the dashing new stranger residing in my home! His name is Porthos the Pirate, and he was given to me by the Queen of America. Those of you who get the reference are smiling right now. My friend who buys and refurbishes old machines gave it to me the other day: "Since you're like an adopted daughter to me, I've decided you must have one, and I couldn't possibly make you PAY for it since you're family!" Woah! Erm, thank you!

He is a Singer treadle sewing machine, one of 50,000 made in Elizabethport New Jersey on April 18th, 1921 (yes, 50,000 were made THAT day). That means, folks, that this is an entirely uncomputerized, non-electric sewing machine. Yay! The head (what you call the machine itself) is in great working condition, and I think the decals are to die for. :-P

It also weighs a ton. The head and the big pedal underneath are cast iron. Heaaaaaaaavy

Well, I Gone and Done It.

In all this time away from my poor, neglected blog (I'm sorry!), I've been attached to my sewing machine. You see, my dear Cowboy saw THIS and asked me to make him a quilt out of old jeans for his upcoming trip to Alaska. "No!" Cora said. "I hate quilting and you know it!" Well... not really. She does hate quilting, but she did make it. *sigh* It was a trial.

Then that led to making a patchwork dress out of old blue jeans, which turned out to be a very post-apocalyptic-esque style. Kind of cool!

And now, you demand, where are the pictures? Pictures or it didn't happen, Cora!

Well...

In proper post-apocalyptic fashion, we will pretend that there are no cameras... because I can't find ours... anywhere... :-/

BUT since I can't leave this post without a picture, I'll put in this one. I posted a picture of my hair a while ago, and I thought I'd update that. :) Here's my hair sans shampoo. Yep. I've switched to using solely baking soda and vinegar after my dear sister Jocelyn inspired me to.

BEFORE...

AFTER...

Hmm... I don't think it looks all that worse for wear... Very fluffy...

Interesting Article

I read THIS and thought it was interesting. Sowers Of Hope posted it on their blog.

The last 10 days have been a flurry around here. My brother was back in and out of the hospital, but hopefully he's done with hospitals for another few months at least. The last stretch was 10 months out of the hospital. I'm hoping for a year this time!

Yesterday At Work

Yesterday while at work, we were busy putting products out on the shelf, when suddenly I turned around, and what did I see?

Mighty Mike!

So, in natural Cora fashion, I stared at him for a second, squeaked some version of "Hi!" that I don't remember now, and hugged him right then and there in front of EVERYONE at the store. :)

He is home now, recovering. Recovering his pride from being hugged by baby sister, also, no doubt.

Mighty Mike, February Edition

Mighty Mike should be coming home soon. Today or tomorrow. He posted on facebook that he hopes I'm his nurse because my cooking makes hospital food taste good. Hmm... I'm THAT bad? ...Narcotic pain killers, much?... He then apologized and said he meant to say my cooking is WAY better than hospital food and he can keep eating and eating and eating and eating...

***

I had an interesting thought earlier. It went like this...

Is YHVH-God more important than loyalty our country? What do you mean by that, Cora? Well, whenever we hear the National Anthem, we are compelled to stand, gentlemen remove their hats, and treat the occasion with utmost respect (unless you're the one singing, in which case you can apparently mess it up all you want...). How many of us totally zone out while singing hymns, praises, and psalms? We have rules regarding honoring our nation's flag by keeping it in as pristine a condition as we can. ...while our books of Scriptures are hidden under piles of junk on the coffee table or sitting on the floors of our cars to get stepped on or become moldy.

Is that ok? Please discuss...

Do Adventures Ever Cease?

Mighty Mike is in the hospital again with pancreatitis and minor internal bleeding. They don't know what's causing the bleeding yet.

My poor brother. :(

A Few Good Songs

 No one said I couldn't use this spot for advertising. But I only advertise good causes!

Come Thou Fount

Star of the County Down

Suite 16 (Rosie's Own Music)

These are done by a for-charity music group in SW Washington called Rosie and the Posers. They're a bunch of young and young-at-heart people, and all of their concerts are held to benefit local charities. I went to one of the concerts, and I'm hooked now.

You all should buy their CD, "Harrumphing Toward Euphoria." It's only $10, and I think you'll like it. This from a girl who hates, loathes, and despises listening to CDs. "Walkin' Pneumonia Blues" is great, and so is "Falling Upwards." Their genre is... You tell them! There's a blues song, Irish-inspired tunes, some Latin-flavored stuff in there... It's great.

They're primarily on facebook, so at the very least, go "like" them and see what they're about. HERE can be found their blog.



And, no, Sir Dale (the leader of the group) didn't pay me to write this. :-D

Life on the Farm is Kinda Laid Back

First baby of the year. Her name is Naira.

Erm, what do you DO?

I was recently asked to list all my interests and hobbies. So I thought as long as I had them typed out, I'd copy them over to here. I've added some more that I've thought of in the meantime.

My interests:

Farming/self-sufficient lifestyle
What I call "Mundane History." How average/poor people lived during the course of history. What did they wear? What were their customs? What work did they do? Why did they believe as they did? Things like that.
Children
Theology, and specifically WHY people believe as they do. Why do YOU believe as you do?
Cows
Science fiction/fantasy
Baseball (Mariners for the win! ...or maybe that should be "for the loss!" ...Or maybe that's a bad joke. I love the Mariners, though.)
Forests
Non-feminism*
Astronomy
Politics
Costuming and research (again, mundane costumes)
Languages (any/all except for French. I can't make myself like the nasally tone. I like gut-languages like German)
Wilderness survival
Drinking tea :)
Vegetable/Orchard gardening
Lord of the Rings (esp. The Hobbit, and no, I won't watch the movie when it comes out)
Volunteering/Community building
Family History
Natural living (eating organic [hey, quit looking at my French Vanilla Coffee Mate! *hugs bottle*], wearing natural fiber clothes, not wearing jewelry...)
Applied algebra (see sewing)
Livestock training (esp. training of oxen. One day I will have a team of oxen)
Kindness and forgiveness


Hobbies:

Any yarn/needle craft (no, ANY. I tat, crochet, knit, do naalbinding [a little]...)
Leatherworking
Woodburning
Singing
Playing my zither
Whittling
Modeling clay into tiny, little people (this was a home business for a while)
Beadwork
Sewing (without real patterns - mostly mathematical equations)
Fabric dyeing (indigo shibori and natural dyes)
Paper altering
Weaving
Basketry
Cheesemaking
Scrabble
Baking
Other cooking
Playing with my animals
Babysitting
Laundry (why, um, yes, I actually love to do laundry. ::shame::)
Rocking out with the guys
Playing video games with my feet while knitting.
Spoiling my brothers
Oh, yeah... writing... This should be higher on the list. ::shame again::
Making dumb jokes that make people smile
Hiking
Learning
Canning/freezing food

Dislikes:

Dogs
Yeah, that's about it. I like just about everything but dogs.


*As I was asked to explain what non-feminism is, here's what I wrote:

I mean that I understand and value what the feminist movement accomplished in making women able to do more of what was historically the "man's job" (in the workforce, etc.), but for me, personally, I don't hold with some of the core ideas that spurred the movement. Some of the ideas I DO value (for instance, I vote in every election, I went to college, I have a job outside the home), so I am not for ANTI-feminism, which is becoming a popular phrase. I'm using the opportunity created by feminism to choose a different life than what feminists hold as their ideal.

So I'm not against feminism or feminists. I'm not really actively for it, either. I (Me, myself, and Cora) believe I am equal to a man, but I am also different from a man, and I will expand my life in such a way as to revel in that difference (which includes being a follower, not a fellow leader).

Maybe I just don't like generalized titles, because there is ALWAYS something inside the umbrella that is that title (or the reputation of the title) that doesn't fit me. :-P

And anyone who calls themselves a feminist is totally okay in my book, because I understand that my lifestyle is not for everyone, and if they are not offended by mine, they might even become interested. :-)

My interest really is seeing what people on either side think (the "feminists" and "anti-feminists") and discovering my own beliefs between the two, drawing from their experiences and studies to round out my viewpoint with a more realistic, grounded opinion.

This is also part of my interest in theology and maybe even psychology to some extent. Why do people think the way they do, and how can I interact with them in a way they will understand and appreciate, or maybe even help keep myself and others afloat in this world through their successes and failures, all without compromising my principles? It's all very interesting.

Hairs of the Force

I'm not entirely sure what possessed me to take a picture of my hair this morning, but as I was pondering which type of bread to cover with Nutella for breakfast, I decided to take a picture.

So I did.

And, since I am otherwise lame-tacular today, without more ado, here's my hair. :-D

Yeah. That was epic.

And note the very high-tech cell phone holder I'm wearing. Actually, on second thought, ignore everything in this picture except for the lovely curtains my mom made! Very, very pretty. :)

By the way, it really doesn't matter what type of bread you put your Nutella on, because if you put enough on, the bread is really an insignificant flavor.

New Sewing Project!

Cora Beth inspired me to post pictures of my latest sewing project - a new skirt!

And cute socks, but they're not new. And I didn't sew them. :)

A Recipe!

THIS is what I made today. Thanks to Rachel for posting it!

Cocoa-nut Honey Peanut Butter Balls

(link: http://dixonhomestead.com/rachel/?p=6175 )

"But You're Not Bitter or Anything..."

It's everywhere around us. People holding long-standing grudges. Country against country. Neighbor against neighbor. Brother against brother. We come up with all sorts of reasons to hold grudges, and in our minds, they're fabulous, infallible reasons.

That's a problem.

*listens for disagreement*

*hears whispers in the back row and sees a few skeptically raised eyebrows*

Okay. Here goes. *grabs a can labeled "Cora's Radical New Idea"*

It's my alwayseversohumble opinion that we have no right to hold grudges. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you have heard of Jesus. Further, I'm going to assume you know that He was crucified on a cross. If, however, this is unfamiliar to you, I suggest reading from the New Testament before proceeding with this post. :)

So why do we not have a right to our self-justified grudges? Well. As I was standing there browning the hamburger for dinner, it occurred to me that if Jesus/Yeshua, Messiah, who is our role model, allowed his innocent, gentle, beautiful hands to be nailed to a cross and asked for forgiveness for these people who were killing Him that He came to save, how can we look at someone else and say, "You disagreed with me! He took my toy! She said something that hurt my feelings!" and be justified?

Just an idea. Forgive your brother or friend or mortal enemy. Ask to be forgiven. Mend bridges. And if you know someone holds a grudge against you, it is not "just their problem." Go try to fix it. See here:

Matthew 5:

²¹ “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ ²² But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.    ²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
   ²⁵ “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. ²⁶ Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny. (NIV)


Every moment you're allowing that grudge into your life is like twisting that nail in Jesus' hand. Don't do it.


Romans 12:18 "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." (KJV)



See what happens. I don't think you'll be disappointed.



 Note: I used NIV for the longer section on account of most people these days not caring for (or understanding) KJV,which is my normal translation.

Wolverine

Here's a look at my little buddy. First he was the Lego Man's little buddy, and then the Lego Man went on to bigger and better activities, and Wolverine became the big sister's project. And a good little project he has been. He now knows the difference between chewtoys and fingers, scratching posts and people, and occasionally uses each for their correct purpose.

Redneck kitten plays... (back when we first got him)

...and plays...

And bites...

Aww... :)

"No, Lego Man, I think we should put the experience points into this cat-egory."

And more recently...

Handsome rogue.

Who Are You?

Have you ever been driving your car, riding a bus, or walking around a grocery store and wondered about the other people you come across? Have you ever caught a glimpse of a face and wondered, "Where is that person going, both in the immediate travel and in their life? Are they happy?" Sometimes I do. Sometimes I wonder if I'm losing a good friend by not speaking to them.

Where I work (as a salesman and cashier at a store), I'm required to talk to people. But instead of assisting them in the most plain-vanilla way I can ("Hi - how can I help you? That's found over here, blah blah blah..."), I make them part of my life for however many moments they're in contact with me. My goal is to lighten the mood of at least half of the people I come across. I can't help it now. I just crack up with my goofy smile as soon as I walk up to people, and somehow that smile always makes them smile, too.

It's fun. YHVH has blessed me tremendously with this job. I've met new friends in customers just by being a warm and bubbly person. I may not know their names, but I know their faces, the sound of their laughter, and the joy of knowing I made just a little difference.

Godless

I was speaking with a friend of mine a long while ago (years?). I think it was around Thanksgiving. Yes, it must have been, because I asked what T was particularly thankful for, given that it was the season that Americans traditionally think of thankfulness. She replied that she was not thankful. For anything. Naturally, I was surprised. "Nothing at all?"

"Yes, nothing at all," T responded. "Most people are thankful for health, general life happiness, or even life at all. I see those as personal rights that belong to me and not something to be thankful for. Nor is there anyone or anything to be grateful to. I simply am until I am no more. Anyone who thinks other than that is silly."

This gave me a profound insight into a human soul as I think it over these recent days (being absent from my blog, this is the main subject I've been pondering, along with a few other things). They say people have a God-sized hole in their lives that only He can fill. I think what I observe from my friend's conversation is that this is what it looks like when that life-void is embraced. "Life is nothing. Death is nothing. Live it up."

This insight also led me to a new understanding of how grateful I should be! My life is borrowed from YHVH/God. Everything in it was given to me for His good pleasure. Truly, I am a blessed daughter of Zion.

If the Lord so burdens you, please pray for T. She is a sweet lady, and I would love for her to know the Truth.

"Well, I'm Back"

So Rosemary and Cora Beth both demanded asked that I return to the blogosphere.

Maybe it would be fitting to write an "In 2011, I plan to..." list. Even though I deny the idea that it is 2011. I just got used to writing 2010 instead of 2009. New Year's Grinch - That's me!

So in this year, which I still call 2010, I plan to...

1. Help my neighbor in her quest to learn how to tan animal furs. She has contacts from which to get the chemicals (we looked in to doing 100% at-home DIY stuff with the corn flakes and battery acid, and that was going to be way too much work; who said wagon train women couldn't be just a little lazy?). Yes, as everyone off the 'nets asks, and I'm sure you're about to, I do mean real honest-to-goodness rabbit furs.
2. Practice making bread and maybe *gasp* become proficient at it.
3. Make myself a more valuable asset at my work.
4. Practice being humble and submissive. I tend to have a bit of a stubborn streak.
5. Finish that nasty evil wretched wonderful quilt I started for the Cowboy. Only 296 more dumb simple and easy pieces of evil strong and manly denim to cut out. *sigh* Anyone have any spare jeans? I'll need them... Has anyone mentioned that Cora hates quilting? She does. Cutting stuff up to sew into a blanket with tons of waste in seam allowances? Unthinkable! Yet here she is...

And the one that I know I will HAVE to do:
6. Learn patience. This summer will be very difficult for me unless I can learn to fully rely on the Lord. But He's been giving me reason upon reason to trust Him in this venture. I know the Cowboy and I will learn much and come out better in the end, so part of me is excited, but the other part is dreading when the Cowboy leaves.

I'm sorry for abandoning you guys. I've missed you a lot.
~Cora